I Know I'm an Actor, but I can Feel Anxiety Too...

When I was fresh out of high school I would sometimes tell people that certain situations gave me anxiety. Now your experience might be different, but this was a time where everyone wasn't saying they were anxious. Maybe they had it and didn't know, but I didn't really know a lot of people who were open with the fact. So when I said this, some people didn't believe me. I'm so outgoing and talkative and I could see why people might have thought that I was exaggerating. AND at the time the idea of anxiety seemed more like a serious medical problem rather than a common struggle that everyday people had.


I've realized lately that I have been succumbing to some of these anxious thoughts. In the past I would struggle with walking into a room with a group of people that a) I didn't know or b) it was my first time. So walking into class on the first day of school or walking into a party by myself. 

Since I've started auditioning for shows a lot of these "groups" are audition rooms or rehearsals. Or even coming back to my church that I haven't attended regularly in two years while I was helping with a church plant.


I can be perfectly delightful when I'm invited into a conversation but I feel so much hesitation when I have to start it. The same goes for praying for people in public. When it's asked for, I'm super pumped and ready. When I have to offer is when I feel like I'm being a bother.

God spoke to me today.

He reminded me that I have been agreeing with this anxiety too much and just succumbing to what is more "comfortable" instead of what is best for me.

'Momentary comfort only makes for future discomfort"

In a show I'm rehearsing for right now I feel so left out and excluded but every time I feel the Lord telling me to go talk with someone or try a fun acting bit, I take the easy route and just try and fade into the background instead. Maybe no one will notice?

This is what I heard from the Lord 'Momentary comfort only makes for future discomfort.' Meaning, by succumbing to anxious thoughts (aka lies) I'm losing out on what's best for me and what he has in store for me which can be a cycle that results in even more anxiety.


So today I want to confess that I've let my flesh rule over my spirit in this area and I want to recommit myself to do the things the Lord is putting on my heart. Not JUST because it's better for me but because it's better for the world and those around me.e

If you're also an actor who struggles with this too, I'd love to hear how you work through this!

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